“Listen, Learn, Love in Scrabble Letters” (Stock Image)
Most couples don’t need perfect communication, they just need real tools and straight-talking support. In this post, I break down the three core areas every successful relationship is built on: communication, conflict, and appreciation. I cut through the noise. Just practical insights to help you stop going round in circles and start reconnecting.
So…..what makes Relationships work?
We’ve all heard the same tired advice about relationships “Never go to bed angry,” “Just communicate more,” “Love conquers all.”
The thing is, relationships don’t survive on clichés. They survive when both people are willing to do the work. Not just scrolling through Instagram quotes and calling it self-awareness.
I work with couples every week, and what separates the ones who grow together from the ones who fall apart comes down to three things:
Communication. Conflict. Appreciation.
Get these right, and you’re in a good place. Get them wrong, and you’ll keep having the same arguments on repeat. It’s gets boring and tedious.
Let me break it down:
1. Communication: It’s Not Just About Talking More
Everyone says “communication is key,” but no one tells you what that actually means. It’s the old adage of quality over quantity.
Are you listening to understand, or waiting for your turn to reply?
Can you express how you feel without blaming or shutting down?
Do you know how to ask for what you need without it coming from a place of criticism or sounding like a demand?
Good communication isn’t natural for a lot of people. It takes self-awareness, practice, and a willingness to be honest, even when it’s uncomfortable.
2. Conflict: It’s Inevitable. Don’t Avoid It
The strongest couples don’t avoid conflict, they learn how to handle it without destroying each other in the process.
Can you fight without turning it into character assassination?
Do you know how to hit pause when it’s escalating?
Are you fighting to win or to understand?
Conflict is healthy when it’s done right. Avoiding it just builds resentment. Repeating the same arguments without resolution? It leads to emotional burn out, which is conducive to communication breakdowns.
Learn how to argue better, not less. Empathy can also be a powerful tool in conflict resolution. No, Honestly!
3. Appreciation: It’s More Than Just Saying “Thanks”
You’d be amazed how many couples come to therapy and can’t remember the last time they genuinely appreciated each other.
Do you notice what your partner does, or just point out what they don’t?
Do you speak your appreciation out loud or just assume they know?
Do you make each other feel seen, or taken for granted?
Appreciation isn’t just about gratitude, it’s about creating a culture in your relationship where both people feel valued. That stuff matters. A lot. When you come from a place of seeing the best of each other without contempt it helps the relationship flourish and strengthens your bond.
Ready to Work on This Together?
If you’re tired of repeating the same patterns and ready to actually do something about it, I’ve built a relationship series around these exact three pillars.
It’s honest, practical, and straight to the point no BS, no lectures, just the tools and guidance to help you reconnect and grow.
In the Series, we’ll cover:
How to actually listen to each other
How to handle conflict without blowing things up
How to rebuild a culture of everyday appreciation
Perfect for people who want more than surface-level fixes.
Upgrade to receive the Full Series Relationship MOT . Episode 1 will be FREE and released from the 1st October.
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